What's Enmeshment? And why it is costing you in business
[00:00:00] Laura Lorentz: Welcome to the Empowered Essence podcast, where we liberate you and empower you to let your soul lead the way in life and business. I'm your host, Laura Lawrence, sharing my thoughts and intimate conversations with featured guests on spirituality, business, and making courageous moves in the spirit of following your soul.
[00:00:23] I want to provide you with the tools you need to tap into your highest self. I am here to empower you to walk away, feeling ready to live your most expansive and purposeful life. Let's dive in.
[00:00:41] Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Empowered Essence. I am so excited to be here today and talking to you about this particular topic, enmeshment. So before we dive in, I just want to say I am Laura Lawrence, your host of this podcast. I am a 1 3 emotional projector. I am a guide and mentor for passionate female entrepreneurs who also happen to be an empath.
[00:01:12] I think that this is really important that I work with these highly sensitive women, because first of all, we have to do business differently. We have so many gifts and talents and strengths, but we're not taught how to use them. Oftentimes, business can feel tough and overwhelming for someone who takes on so much around them. So what I really focus on doing is helping you bring you back to yourself, to your energetic sovereignty, so that you can build your business from a place of personal power. That's really what it's all about. So as a projector, I feel like I understand that so deeply but you don't necessarily have to be a projector to be an empath.
[00:01:57] You are just someone who takes on the thoughts and the feelings, the emotions, the energy of the spaces around you. Sometimes that can throw you off, and you might experience emotional waves. It's really just all about how to alchemize your energy and come back to you.
[00:02:15] So that's what I do, with my work, I weave people's energetic fields. I can sense when things are going all over the place, when your nervous system is off, when you have these entanglements with other people or other things, and I can help you bring you back to more of a,flow state, more energetic resonance for the things that you actually desire in your life.
[00:02:42] So that's what I do. So today I want to talk about meshment. Because this is something that I have personally worked through, especially in the last year. I feel like I've been doing this work for a lot longer, but it has been just a deep dive, because once you sign up for this work, the universe loves to present to you opportunities in the classroom of your life to really embody this work and that's what I've been doing. So what is enmeshment? I feel like a lot of people have been talking about enmeshment lately, but I just want to bring it to the context of business in particular. So basically, enmeshment is when you lose that boundary between yourself and someone else or something else.
[00:03:27] So in your business, it's like there's these, entanglement or tangling of energy between yourself and your business and these boundaries between you and your individuality in relation to your business becomes blurred. So oftentimes, we, at the onset, we get these psychological needs met from our business or we get these, outbursts of happiness because it's giving, our business is giving us something.
[00:03:57] That's when the enmeshment starts is when we're looking to get our needs met from our business. What I want to help you do is decouple that and bring you back to you because when we feel like our worth. Is determined by the success or lack thereof of our businesses. We experienced these roller coasters.
[00:04:21] So it's really hard to create consistent results in your business when you are entangled when you are enmeshed. Think about it, you go on social media, you have this great post, people like it, you're on this high, you're feeling this emotional high and you're like, yep, I can take this on, I got this, I'm feeling validated.
[00:04:44] The next day you post something and nobody likes it. You're on this low. Then you start experiencing this and then when you start distancing yourself from social media and then you have to go on this social media break because you're feeling all these feelings of making things mean [00:05:00] different things about yourself when really it has nothing to do with you.
[00:05:04] Your business is its own entity. It has a purpose. It has people that it is here to help. When you can recognize yourself as the person that just helps support this vehicle, or just helps to get the needs met of those people, then so much is going to shift in your business. I say this, I don't always like to say this, but I am the queen of enmeshment.
[00:05:32] It really all started with my corporate career, and I feel like a lot of people are going to resonate with my story when I share this, but for me, it all started with my corporate career, and maybe, you know what, it probably started a lot longer than that, childhood and so forth, but for me, the biggest sign of enmeshment started in my job, there were moments where I was feeling validated and seen, I remember reporting to this one leader who just saw me so deeply and I loved my job, and I dove headfirst into it. I got a lot of psychological needs met for my job, and then when I switched jobs, I didn't have that. I didn't have that same psychological needs met, and so I experienced a lot of burnout. I experienced a lot of dislike for my job, and I was so enmeshed. My identity, so this is key, it's really all about your identity.
[00:06:19] Your identity is so tangled with your job that oftentimes other things in your life just aren't as important. So you don't partake in hobbies, things outside of your job just don't matter because you're just so ingrained in it. That was what happened to me.
[00:06:39] So because I didn't have something outside of my job, I went into this depressed state and so many people go through this. So when I went on maternity leave because I wasn't getting my needs met from my job and I didn't have hobbies or things outside, obviously I had just had a child so that was a new experience, and that gave me some sense of passion and purpose.
[00:07:05] I dove into entrepreneurship, and I dove into entrepreneurship to feel purposeful, to feel joy, I was looking to get specific needs met from my business. So that is the first red flag, is if you're diving into creating a business because you want to feel joy, or you want to feel purposeful, or you want some sort of need met that's an opportunity to look at your enmeshment. So when I did that, I was experiencing it, I'd post something on social media and I would get likes. I felt validated. I would have, people sign up for my programs. I felt needed. I felt seen, I felt heard, all of those sorts of things.
[00:07:47] I was getting those needs met, but it was becoming a lot. I was a mother, I was running my business, and I also went back to my corporate job after maternity leave, and I really wasn't getting my needs met, and I was continuing to do more without actually really asking myself and stepping back and saying, What do you actually want?
[00:08:10] What do you actually need? And how do, how can I give myself that? Versus trying to get it from my business, from my job, from motherhood, all of these things. There was just so much enmeshing going on. So I feel like there's a lot of aha moments right now for people taking a look at their life. A lot of people do this with their partner.
[00:08:32] I wish you would do that for me. Oh, I wish you would do that. It's no, how can you meet your own needs? So I've talked a lot about what enmeshment is. So it's really this blurring of lines between yourself and this other thing, whether it's your job, your business, motherhood, your relationship with your partner, it's usually like some sort of relationship with someone or something.
[00:08:54] We talked a little bit about what happens in business, but how can you identify these patterns? So for me I've gotten into energy weaving and I can see these things in my clients. I can see when they're giving their energy away and when they've intertwined their energy with something else or someone else and so I can help them release that and understand these patterns. You can do this too, without me weaving your field. Although, if you would like an energy weaving session, you can certainly book one for $188. but you can do this on your own. Just the power of noticing, I think a lot of people, have misconceptions about what healing is.
[00:09:34] You don't have to go to a Reiki practitioner. You don't have to go to someone to do healing work. You can do this yourself a lot of times it's just the power of noticing. Noticing patterns and choosing something differently.
[00:09:48] So in this case when your looking at enmeshment it's noticing these patterns, noticing these things or these people that you are enmeshing with. [00:10:00] So once you notice that, what are those needs? Identify what are those needs that I am trying to get met by that person or that thing. Identify what those needs are and then ask yourself, how can I meet those needs myself?
[00:10:16] Is it just fully seeing myself? Is it loving myself deeper? Is it actually resting? Is it actually taking a break? Because that's really all that I need right now. Is it, maybe you need a creative outlet? Whatever it is, how can you meet your own needs? So first is identifying it.
[00:10:37] Next is what are the needs that I'm trying to get met through this enmeshment? And then how can I meet those needs myself? Often times, everyone and everything in your life is a bonus. It's a cherry on top. You are the star of the show. You are the star of your life and it's always coming back to you.
[00:10:58] That's what builds this personal power. That's what builds this energetic sovereignty, is when you always come back to you. So this is the foundation of the work that I do, whether through my energy weaving sessions, when I'm doing those one on one with my clients, but I'm also teaching a course called Energetic Mastery for the Online Entrepreneur.
[00:11:19] This is specific for business, and it's going to give you specific ways, A, to identify these energy leaks, these cords, these hooks with other people, and how to clear them yourself. So not just noticing them, but like really energetically clearing them from your system. We're going to ground and protect your energy so that these things don't come back.
[00:11:41] You're going to connect them with allies and guides because that's what has skyrocketed my intuition. We're going to create these rock solid energetic boundaries. Sothis is the second time I've run this course. This time around, I have expanded it. So the first time was just four weeks.
[00:11:58] It was a Facebook group, with recorded modules. We are doing five recorded modules now, and it's going to be eight weeks long. To give you some time for... integration and embodiment. You're also going to get access to Voxer with me. We're going to do daily energetic practices. You're going to get that in the moment coaching.
[00:12:19] We can go through and identify any patterns and enmeshment that's going on in your business and how to, detangle that. Then any rifts. I am a projector, like I said, and I just love to, share anything that's going on in my life, anything that could benefit you. So that's why I love Voxer.
[00:12:39] So right now, this program is $888.00. You can also do a two payment plan as well. So it's eight weeks, and the price actually goes up on Monday next week. We start September 27th. I can't wait for this. It's gonna be so much fun. There's already some incredible women in this space. So, this is a space to grow, to transform, to, really dive deep into ourselves.
[00:13:06] I think it's so important to have this Voxer or this safe space that you can do this work in. I think it's a lot harder when you're doing it on your own and having someone to support you along the way. So sending so much love. If you are interested either in an energy weaving session or, doing my group program, please send me a DM on Instagram.
[00:13:27] I am so excited and can't wait to celebrate you when you join and sending so much love. Have a great day.
[00:13:36] Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Empowered Essence. If you loved this episode, don't forget to leave a rating and review on your favorite platform. And until next time, keep shining your light.